$99 for the Beer on the Wall

Both Alcoholics Anonymous and Norway are good places for recovering drinkers, or anyone trying to stay off the sauce. I’m not. But the Norwegian “sin tax” is my liver’s new best friend.

As I’ve mentioned before, Norway is an expensive country. The government is able to provide numerous benefits to its citizens through heavy income, value-added and sin taxes. And nowhere is this more apparent than in the prices of alcohol. Wages are high here, really high. And Norwegians happily cough up the extra dough to promote a high quality of living and a low Gini coefficient—the difference between the highest and lowest wage earners is small. But visitors must still eat the high costs without reaping the benefits. As much as I appreciate what the government is trying to do, I have to admit that I have shed more than a few tears when the six pack of beer I grab at the grocery store costs more than the rest of the items in my cart combined.

To satisfy the curious, here are some price points of common products one might buy in the United States and their prices here in Norway:

Dirt-Cheap Six Pack: Roughly $16
Normal Six Pack: About $28
A Decent Beer at the Bar: $15-$20
Yellowtail Wine: At least $20 at the store
Good Wine: At least $70 at the store—the stuff that sells for $15 per bottle in the US
Bombay Sapphire 750ml: Almost $80
One 12 oz Bottle of Smirnoff Ice at the Store: $8.50—for you bros

You get the point.

Yes, I still have a couple drinks here. But “having a big night” out on the town is pretty much out of the question. And that’s probably a good thing: I’m not getting any younger and my student loans could probably go towards better things. However, frequent imbibers and revelers do have some alternatives. The Norwegian youth have invented what is known here as a “voerspiel”, or pre-party. Since store-bought alcohol is much cheaper than the alcohol served in bars, many students will load up on drinks before heading out. In theory, they then need to spend less at the bar—although, from my experience, I tend to disregard my bank account after a few drinks.

This strategy seems to work for them though: the evidence is clear on Friday and Saturday nights. While cities in Norway remain quiet places Sunday through Thursday, they become “zombie towns” on Friday and Saturday nights. Introversion and tact be damned, curse drink limits and caution: Norwegians don’t hold back on the weekends. It’s an interesting sight to behold. And if you ever feel like it is impossible to have a conversation with a stranger in Norway, just wait until the weekend. Friday, they’re in love.

Since I respect what Norway is trying to do, I’ll put an end to my rant soon: it really isn’t that bad, and I feel spritely and renewed from my financially-motivated detox. But didn’t Ben Franklin—in perhaps a famous misquote—once say that “beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy?” I’ll pay for my sins with the hefty tax. But isn’t charging that much for a few good brews equally as sinful? I know a few people in the Norwegian government who won’t be getting raptured.

A-ha, Norway Has a Thriving Music Scene

Although a-ha—and their ubiquitous 1980s song “Take On Me”—remains Norway’s largest musical export, the music industry in Norway has started to distance itself from the animated music videos, Members Only jackets and traditional folk music of its past. Even its reputation as a death-metal loving Nordic country is dissipating—although, that genre will always hold a special place in most Scandinavian’s hearts. Over the last year or so, I’ve been introduced to several great bands and artists that hail from Norway and thought I’d share a list of some of my favorites for you all to explore. Some of these may be familiar to you, but perhaps you didn’t know they came from Norway. And some will be completely new. Each band’s musical style varies wildly from the next, but they are all excellent in their own way. Give each a listen sometime:

Moi—Relatively unknown as an artist, Moi gained recent fame in Norway for her rendition of Kaizers Orchestra’s “Hjerteknuser”—or, “Heartbreaker.” In late 2010, Norway’s P3 radio station held a competition to see who could come up with the best version of “Hjerteknuser” having only seen the musical notes and lyrics that Kaizers Orchestra wrote: listening to the song before creating your own version was forbidden. Moi dominated. And every time I hear it I’m reminded of my time here over Christmas since her version of the song ruled the radio waves then.

Jokke—The late Joachim “Jokke” Nielsen was an incredibly talented, but also deeply tormented, Norwegian songwriter who gained fame in the 1980s for his lead work in the rock band, Jokke & Valentinerne. Well-written and funny, most of Jokke’s songs revolved around alcohol and other such accessories to the rock lifestyle. If you like bands like Rusted Root, or other bands with a folksy lean, you might like Jokke. Check out “To Fulle Menn.”

BigBang—We are venturing into more familiar territory with BigBang. A South by Southwest regular, and frequent US-tourer, BigBang is often described as being the best live band in Norway. I’ve seen them live, and can’t disagree. With a style varying from heavier rock to much lighter stuff, BigBang is very accessible. Check out “Saturn Freeway.”

Röyksopp—This techno duo from Tromsø—which is in the extreme north of Norway—has gained some fame in the United States with their hit, “Remind Me.” Mostly for electronica fans, Röyksopp’s stuff is technically innovative and musically brilliant. Check out “Remind Me” and “Happy Up Here.”

Datarock—Both musically and lyrically gifted, Datarock combines a great electronic sound with comedy, melody and style. They have gained significant international commercial success, and feature in several video games including: FIFA 10, The Sims 2: Free Time and the Madden series. Check out “Fa fa fa” and “Amarillion.”

Kings of Convenience—My favorite of the Norwegian bands, Kings of Convenience features Erlend Øye, a singer/songwriter who has his hands in numerous other projects including the band, The Whitest Boy Alive. With a style similar to Simon & Garfunkel or Elliott Smith, Kings of Convenience emphasizes soft guitar, soothing vocals and pleasant harmonies. The lyrics are smart and poignant. Check out everything that they’ve done. In a not-so-subtle jab at the heavy metal industry, they ascended to prominence with their 2001 debut album, “Quiet is the New Loud.” Indeed.

Also sample: Kaizers Orchestra, DumDum Boys, Susanne Sundfør and Postgirobygget.

Norskkurs

Hei. Jeg heter John. Jeg kommer fra Virginia i USA. These phrases—ones everyone learns in an intro language course—were the first ones I learned in my norskkurs at the Folkeuniversitet Midt-Norge in Trondheim. As you might have surmised, they mean “Hi. My name is John. I come from Virginia in the USA.” I have learned languages in the past, but had forgotten how humbling it is to start from scratch and stumble through basic sentences like an infant with endlessly patient people—thanks Tonje! My ability to speak Norwegian is progressing: I can now safely order at restaurants and cafés, decline plastic bags at the grocery store and occasionally engage in rudimentary conversations about most things…very slowly. But I’ve got a long way to go.

My motivation to learn Norwegian is twofold. On a practical level, I need to, at the very least, be able to speak the language conversationally in order to get a job in Norway that doesn’t involve washing dishes. Since employment in Norway is becoming a realistic goal of mine, this is important. But I also want to learn Norwegian so that I can speak it with Tonje and her family. Granted, they all speak English perfectly, but I feel that it’s somewhat selfish to always require that they speak what is naturally their second language: if the tables were turned, I know I’d feel the same way. So the fire beneath me is lit. And, although reading books and talking with Tonje are very helpful, a course in Norwegian was the obvious next step for me.

The class I’m currently taking meets on Mondays and Thursdays for three hours each day. It will last for six weeks. The five other students in the class each have unique reasons for being in Norway and wanting to learn the language. Several found work here already—which, luckily, didn’t require fluent, or any, Norwegian abilities—and are trying to gain some working knowledge of the language. Two others are here from China and Japan and are studying different subjects at the local university. It seems their motivations to learn the language stem mostly from curiosity and lots of free time—I can’t really tell since their English isn’t so great either. The last—a woman from the Philippines—is even more of a mystery to me: and Norwegian seems to be a mystery to her. From what I gather, she met a Norwegian online and intends to marry him in June. I don’t think she’s known him long. And since we sit next to each other in class—and she realllllly struggles with the basics of Norwegian—I’ve become something of a tutor to her during class time. This is fine since it helps me learn more too. But I constantly find myself wondering more about her story. I don’t want to infer too much about her reasons for being here, but the words “mail-order” and “bride” keep coming to mind. I’m just saying.

Luckily, since both Norwegian and English are Germanic languages, the grammatical structure of Norwegian is very similar to that of English. And many of the words are similar as well: “best” is “best”; “again” is “igjen”; “cat” is “katt.” In the present tense, verbs don’t conjugate. Whereas in English “to be” conjugates to “I am”, “You are”, etc…, in Norwegian, the same verb conjugates to “Jeg er”, “Du er”, “Vi er”, etc…. This again makes Norwegian relatively simple. Relatively. Getting in the mindset of speaking Norwegian all the time is difficult. And, since everyone here speaks English, it is hard to not rely on my native language as a crutch. But I’m really enjoying the process, and hope to be relatively capable by the time I return to the United States. Hopefully I won’t come back with a thick Scandinavian accent. Thanks for reading: Dere er de beste!

Norway, The World's Largest OB Ward: Natal Policies and the Booming Diaper Market

I’ve heard that there are more sheep than people in New Zealand, by several factors. Similarly, in Norway—despite the obvious biological paradox—babies clearly outnumber adults. I feel shamed walking down the street without a stroller. And I feel that I am being silently ridiculed by the men and women running with babies in baby backpacks, pushing their Bugaboos or sipping a pilsner at the bar with their tot. I’m kidding. But it is true that babies are everywhere in Norway. And there is more to the story.

Despite my hyperbole, there really do appear to be babies everywhere when you walk around Trondheim. Whether you are running along trails, sitting outside at a café or skiing the slopes, you will see people toting babies. I even saw a baby sprawled out on a mat on the floor less than five feet from the bench press in the gym: but I didn’t feel comfortable asking him for a spot.

The presence of so many babies in public places tells me two things: (1) Norwegians don’t let having a child stop them from doing anything, and (2) the government initiatives aimed at boosting the birth rate and incentivizing having children are working. The first point is more of a cultural phenomenon and doesn’t surprise me much. Norwegians are active people, mothers and fathers share equal responsibility in rearing children and women are less frequently stay-at-home moms here—to a large degree. Baby showers are unheard of here, weddings are often conducted in legal offices with pen and paper and women would, in general, feel caged here if they were to stay at home for years and focus on motherhood. What Americans might view as grand occasions for celebration—or, for some, death sentences—Norwegians seem to view as just another part of life and don’t create much fuss.

The second point is equally as interesting. It’s widely known that Europe suffers from a sub-replacement fertility rate—the rate of birth is not sufficient to replace a nation’s population. Most estimates suggest that women need to give birth to an average of 2.33 children to adequately replace the population, but most European nations are woefully under two. Measures have been taken to combat the shortfall though: extended maternity leave, paternity leave, tax incentives and job guarantees for mothers who have children. But Norway’s pro-natal policies are practically luxurious. Women who have a baby can take 56 weeks off at 80 percent pay, or 46 weeks off at 100 percent pay. They must take three weeks off immediately before the birth and six weeks off immediately afterwards. But dad isn’t left out either: he can take ten weeks off with full salary. Both mother and father can take an extra year of unpaid leave after the 46 or 56 week period is over and still keep their jobs. Healthcare is entirely free—of course higher taxes cover it, but still—and, as long as your child attends Norwegian schools and universities, that’s free too. Why not have a child? Well, that’s the question that the Norwegian government hopes its citizens ask themselves, presumably. And it seems to be working. No wonder there seem to be so many people with-child here. It's another example of how the Norwegian government takes care of its people, and how a government can create effective policies. Arguments no doubt abound about the loss of productivity in the workplace from such generous maternity and paternity leaves. And argument is good, and constructive. But the policy as it is works for Norway and suits its needs regardless of whether or not it would be effective elsewhere. Norway’s fertility rate is now among the highest in Europe at just over two babies per woman. Employers and businessmen should rest easy knowing that there will be a steady stream of employees in the years to come. Or, perhaps they ought to capitalize now and open a stroller and diaper outlet. Cheers, future baby boomers of Norway!

Experience Norway: Eat Its Food

Like many, I argue that to get to know a culture you must eat what the locals eat. Most traditional dishes are comprised of the natural ingredients available to the ancestors of that country. Norway is no exception. The simple ingredients in Norwegian cuisine tell the story of its people: farmers harvesting grain and potatoes, fishermen catching salmon and cod and dairy workers producing milks and cheeses. They ate what was readily available and needed the carbohydrates and proteins for energy throughout the long, cold and dark winters. Much of the eating habits you will find in Norway stem from these early laborers. And even if you live in another country—the United States, for example—it’s easy to prepare a quick snack or meal that will give you a taste of Norwegian cuisine. And perhaps, a taste of its culture. Here are some ideas:

1. Buy some bread—or use a flatbread cracker like Wasa—and some smoked salmon strips. Boil an egg and get some mustard—not French’s yellow stuff—and dill. Put it all on top of the bread in an open-faced style and enjoy.

2. Buy some high-quality cod or salmon from a decent seafood shop—this cod won’t be like the stuff that they put in fish sticks or the McFish Fillet, or whatever—and cook it with a bit of salt. Boil some potatoes and add a glass of beer.

3. Eat black licorice—salted if you can find it.

4. Go to a store that sells imported or “fancier” liquors and grab a bottle of aquavit—Linie if they have it. This type of aquavit is transported in crates via ship across the equator and back to enhance the flavor. I have no idea how that produces a superior aquavit compared to others, but it’s damn good.

5. This is really Norwegian and only for the adventurous. In the cheese section of most decent grocery stores you will find a type of cheese called brunost, or gjetost in America. It is produced by Tine and is branded under the Ski Queen moniker in America. Brunost translates to "brown cheese" and the taste is somewhat like a blend between cheese, peanut butter and caramel. Slice some up and put it on some flat bread. Add strawberry jam too, if you want.

Those are just a few simple ideas to sample some Norwegian cuisine from wherever you are. I’ll probably write more about the food at some later date, but those are just some thoughts for now. 

Star Wars, Dance Troupes and Bunads: Norway's Constitution Day

Tonje apparently has a lot of confidence in me. Too busy studying for exams, she pinned a Norwegian ribbon on my suit lapel, gave me a small slip of paper with an address on it and told me to have fun at a breakfast with her friends to celebrate syttende mai—or, May 17th, Norway’s Constitution Day. I have trouble finding the 7/11 down the street let alone navigating Trondheim’s ancient cobblestone streets attempting to find a small flat some 30 minutes away by foot. But I was excited to celebrate Norway’s equivalent of the US’s Independence Day and sauntered down the stairs of her apartment with a giant bag filled with breakfast rolls in one hand and another filled with a cornucopia of fruits and vegetables. It was early in the morning and I was looking forward to the fresh air the walk along the river would provide. But I stepped out onto the streets into a world that would have overwhelmed Barnum and Bailey. I was quickly swarmed by children in traditional Norwegian garb toting trumpets, flutes and drums. Eager parents with cameras bumped shoulders with me as I held the bags of food high above my head and spun around to avoid knocking out one of the young band members. The normally quiet streets now contained a mob of epic proportions: a parade of thousands of children and their admirers celebrating almost 200 years of Norwegian independence. The fun was just beginning.


The May 17th holiday is one that blends modern festivities with tradition. The day is highlighted by parades comprising various local groups, Norwegian-flag waving clubs, sports teams and marching bands playing regional tunes. And the town is awash in the red and blue colors of the Norwegian flag. Many women wear traditional dresses, or bunads, that indicate what part of the country their wearers hail from depending on the style and color of the fabric and accessories. Men often wear bunads as well—imagine what a mid-19th century English nobleman/villain might wear: dagger included—but just as frequently don suits with a splash of Norwegian color. But modern cultural influences are also apparent among the time-honored rituals. Moustache clubs from around the world—including the United States—channeled Frank Zappa and Burt Reynolds. Several dance troupes performed hip-hop or breakdancing routines—often in bunads. And Darth Vader led a band of storm troopers and bounty hunters in an imperial march down the streets of Trondheim.


After the parades, the festivities continued. Tonje and I joined several friends for a traditional Norwegian meal and some drinks. The highlight of which had to be sodd—a personal favorite of mine. Consisting of lamb meatballs, potatoes, carrots and broth, sodd is endlessly satisfying and filling. Cakes resembling the Norwegian flag and local Norwegian    beers—from the Dahls brewery—rounded out the meal.

Syttende mai underscores themes that I’ve noticed throughout my time in Norway. It is a country that has a strong identity, immense pride and endless loyalty. But it is also a country that hesitantly—if sometimes skeptically—embraces modern trends. It is known for its passion for heavy metal music, video games and for American television shows like “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Private Practice.” Big Hollywood movies are promoted here, Lil Wayne appears uncensored on the radio and celebrity gossip is rampant. Nothing shows the meeting of these two worlds quite like syttende mai. And while Princess Leia and breakdancers sandwiched a small group of bunad-clad country folk in the parade I smiled because I knew that groups of humble people like that would always be in the parade. Though modern influences will continue to permeate the culture here—which is fine, and unavoidable—even the most hip and trendy young Norwegian will always eagerly throw on his or her bunad and sing “Ja, vi elsker dette landet”—the national anthem—during holidays. They love their country and they all respect it. And that’s the way it should be.

Eurovision

The entire city of Trondheim, Norway was abuzz when I arrived on May 14th. But the excitement wasn’t for the rapidly approaching May 17th holiday—Norway’s national day—or for my arrival: it was for Eurovision.

I’m not sure whether I should be proud or disappointed that I had never heard of Eurovision before I experienced the flamboyant glamfest that is the obvious inspiration for the US’s American Idol. But I will never forget the first time I saw it. The concept of Eurovision is fairly simple: through a voting process, every nation in the European Broadcasting Union picks a performing group or artist to sing a song and represent their country in the contest. After one elimination round, 25 groups sing a song accompanied by dance artists and elaborate lightshows in a massive televised event on a Saturday night in May. Votes are then tallied in an American Idol-esque manner with an emphasis placed on building tension and drama: over three hours of tension and drama. Cameras are stationed all over Europe showing each nation’s contingents celebrating in drunken throngs in the streets and at various viewing sites. The entire event has a Super Bowl meets the Grammys meets American Idol feel to it. Everyone watches, but it is particularly appealing to the under-17 female crowd because of the event’s proclivity towards Europop music and boy bands.

Ultimately, Azerbaijan—whose inclusion in Europe is questionable to me regardless of which networks broadcast there—won the 2011 contest with Eldar & Nigar’s song, “Running Scared.” Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Vk4HYUatv8&feature=related. The song was fine, but I preferred both Ireland’s contribution, “Lipstick” by Jedward and Hungary’s contribution, “What About My Dreams” by Kati Wolf. Even the Norwegian entry—which didn’t make the finals, unfortunately— “Haba Haba (meaning Little by Little)” by Stella Mwangi was catchier. Here's a stage performance of "Haba Haba": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7k9vOc_B9w.

An important cultural experience I won’t be missing again, Eurovision cast some light on many common European themes. It showed how much pride European citizens have in their respective countries: with many being small nations, youngsters are taught early to stand up unflinchingly for their people. But it also showed the unity that exists between European nations, specifically within regions. Forbidden from casting votes for the performers of their own country, many voters will elect to vote for the performers from neighboring nations: Norway will give favorable treatment to Swedish, Icelandic and Finnish songs, for example. In the end, despite Azerbaijan’s victory, the entire show had a festive feel, one of celebration. While Ryan Seacrest pushes the momentum of America’s biggest song contest forward, promoting individual performers and riches, perhaps one day the US will adopt a song competition among states similar to the Eurovision contest. Such an event would certainly generate enough revenue to appease the big networks. And it would be a fun and unifying experience that I bet Americans would really get into. Haba haba.

P.S. Not all winners of Eurovision are glampop boy bands or ABBA. In 2006, Finland’s monster metal band Lordi won the entire contest in a serious shift from tradition with their song “Hard Rock Hallelujah.” A personal favorite of mine, it’s definitely worth checking out.

You Know You're in Norway When...

I’ll pick this up from the tarmac at Oslo’s Gardermoen airport. Having flown from Ljubljana, Slovenia to Copenhagen, Denmark and from Copenhagen to Oslo—all before nine a.m., mind you—I was considerably groggy-headed. A bit of a hangover from too much Slovenian wine and some coffee jitters had me in a pretty bad way. That I even remembered my overhead carry-on was a miracle. All that hopefully makes the following pretty excusable:

When you fly into Norway from another country and subsequently take a domestic flight you are required to claim your checked baggage, go through customs and then recheck it. I knew this—at some point—but, given the above circumstances, and my general excitement to be in Norway—and also from the coffee jitters turning into the coffee sweats—I forgot. You enter Gardermoen and are greeted by two signs: something to the effect of “international flights” and something like “all others/exit.” I took the latter and walked where the signs seemed to naturally point me: to the customs counter. I imagine that if I had a set of professional binoculars with 10x magnification I could have noticed the luggage belts off to my left. But with the coffee sweats now drenching my forehead and obscuring my vision I walked through the “Nothing to Declare” customs gate and found myself on a sidewalk with taxis and shuttle buses: clearly, this was not my connecting flight.

After some searching and frank conversations I discovered that I could not reenter the baggage claim area and had to wait with an SAS agent for 15 minutes while she received the proper authority to escort me back to get my bag, which at this point had probably done 20 solo laps around the belt. I had run out of coffee sweat to cool me down and was starting to get hot.

Fortunately, another gentleman had made the same mistake that I had. Being 45 years old and having never left the Australian island of Tasmania he had a better excuse for being intellectually dominated by airport systems than I did. Nonetheless, he had interesting stories to help pass the time. Growing up in Tasmania he had dreamed of visiting Norway—I guess it was something about the Vikings, topography and the midnight sun. He informed me that, after a recent argument, his wife left him and that he saw it as an ideal opportunity to take the trip he had always dreamed of. Within a month of the argument with his wife, he had planned his first trip out of Tasmania—to Norway of all places—and started dating a new woman that he “met on Facebook” and was “way out of his league.” After he showed me a picture of a Tasmanian devil—that he kept in his wallet at all times—the SAS agent hopped on a Razor scooter and, kicking away, escorted us to our bags—which were indeed alone and looked like that last hotdog on the 7-11 hotdog roller that no one wants. Kicking vigorously against the ground, the scooter-mounted SAS agent took us through customs—which consisted of an empty booth: does any official person even know I’m in Norway?—and to the rechecking station.

But that aside was not the real point of this entry. There were two things that let me know that I was back in Norway after I rechecked my bag: characteristics of the nation that any traveler here will notice quickly. And one hit me harder than the other. First, Norway is expensive: I’ve mentioned this frequently to friends and family. But it’s hard to not fixate on this point when coming from a country where everything is so relatively inexpensive—and when student loans don’t hit again until September. I settled down into a café since I had a three hour layover and picked up two small flatbread sandwiches, an apple and a bottle of water. The flatbreads were about two and a half square inches and only had small slices of smoked salmon, bits of hardboiled eggs and some dill on them. I think the bill was about USD 40. And this trend is ubiquitous. I’ll write about it more some other time when I talk about taxes, the welfare state and the pros and cons of such a system. The second unmistakable sign of a visit to Norway is the general quiet. While airports are generally frantic monstrosities with a constant din, Gardermoen could pass for a library. People keep to themselves: idle chitchat is often avoided even among close acquaintances. As I savored my sandwiches—which must have contained gold flakes—I noticed a couple across from me holding hands and staring over the other’s shoulder without speaking for a solid 20 minutes. This is not uncommon. A haven for introverts, Norway understands that sometimes silence is acceptable, or even needed.

It is important to note that neither of these two points are condemnatory of Norwegian culture: in fact, I respect and appreciate both. The habits of Norwegians—and the policies of the nation’s government—are very different from those of other nations' citizens, including those of the United States. But there are reasons why they are the way they are. And, in general, their way of life creates a happy, prosperous and beautiful environment. In the coming weeks, I’ll elaborate further on more specific points of the culture. Norway has its quirks, its moments of brilliance and, like every nation, its faults. I’ll write about several things that highlight each of these. And whether you find these to be illuminating, inefficient or whatever, hopefully you will at least find them interesting.